50 Random orderly thoughts while watching the VMAs

In celebration of the return of the 500 channel universe to my domain, I eschewed (favorite word alert) some football to watch the VMAs on asort of tape-delayed basis.

Thanks to the miracle of technology, I was able to duck the commercials and things I found irrelevant to focus instead on the truly important things, although at this point, I do not know what those things are, since i havent actually seen it yet. But I am confident I can get 100 out of it.

1. Jay-Z is just not fooling anyone. There is no way he can ever go back to being just a rapper. You know you are large when you can hold down a show opening and not actually perform.
2. Justin Timberlake is the affirmative action baby of R&B. Sooner or later the novelty will wear off for us and it wont be cute anymore.
3. In the meantime, there is something unseemly about Timbaland playing Rochester to JT's Jack Benny.
4. If Jack Black WERE black, his 15 minutes would be over by now.
   
5. This is likely the WORST awards show opening, EVER.
6. Ooo Look a lil kim sighting.
7. Lil Kim is cutting QUITE the profile, Im thinking she got all that good lockdown grub weight STRAPPED DOWN like rooftop luggage.
8. I thought the whole beauty of being a good bitch was that you stayed down?
9. there is andre 3000 looking as normal as he can muster.
10. I think MTV gives Black eyed Peas awards just to Piss off mainstream HipHop.
11. no way MY humps video was better than Common's Testify video, one of the better HipHop videos of recent memory.
12. I wonder if the Rock misses wrestling as much as wrestling misses the Rock?
13. When your hips move like that...it's ok that you aren't hitting your notes properly.
14. I heard a shakira CD..and I was like....mm ok. I SAW a shakira performance and realized what all the fuss was about.
15. Wyclef is as underrated as they come. Of course, everytime I see him, I keep hoping Lauryn Hill pops out of his hat.
16. I cannot help but wonder what MTV pays those Jackass guys to mutilate themselves. It boggles the mind that they are even famous.
    
17. Why is the midget naked???
18. MTV tres. Hard to say you didnt see THAT coming.
19. LL is too old to be dressed like that.
20. LL makes 50 look small.
21. Add me to the list of people who are ready for 50 to just go away.
22. I keep hearing lil Jon is actually quiet...except when he is in front of a camera.
    
23. I still cannot believe Ludacris cut his hair. I get the distinct suspicion that Luda is about to elevate the content on this next album. But then again, this song is NOT a good indication.
24. There should be a law requiring rappers to use live bands on performances like this.
    
25. The PussyCat Dolls does NOT qualify as a live band.
26. Sarah Silverman is alleged to be funny. this isn't.
27. Raconteurs is a cool name for a band. The Raconteurs is a cool name for anything. I think I am going to change the name of my fantasy football team to the raconteurs
28. Jack Black is getting unfunnier by the nanosecond.
29. Jessica Simpson - Chicken of the sea. The link is just unbreakable.
30. Its obvious Wyclef is stunned that he and Shakira lost to the PCDs.
31. ok...go? what in the name is synchronized cardio is this craziness.
32. OK, this is amusing. I see the attraction. I cannot imagine this staying popular longer than the length of this song.
    
33. All-American Rejects is kind of a cool name for a group. and it is exactly what they look like.
    
34. oh, THIS is who the All-American Rejects are. See, this is why MTV should go back to playing videos.
35. OK, so now that Nick Lachey is not married to Jessica Simpson, what is he famous for now?
    
36. Nicole Ritchie is mind-blowingly frail.
    
37. I like Pink.
38. The motorcycle dance is stupid.
39. I think we have now reached the point where Snoop Dogg is old school.
40. This boy is about to cry during his speech.
41. I wonder why 20/20 cancelled his interview about racial profiling.
42. Beyonce is about to start screaming.
    
43. A sure sign you are a grown-up is when trench coats can be made sexy.
44. I think I will go see Beyonce on tour just to see her all female band.
45. ok...someone name the last unique and original idea Beyonce came up with?
46. Diddy NEVER misses a chance to self-promote
47. T.I is on a roll of Jay-Z esque proportions. There is something about him. I am not sure exactly what it is. It isn't just the whole ex-drug dealer thing. He's kinda like that kid you knew was the smartest one in the class, but he didn't get the grades you knew he could.
    
48. what are those kids doing back there? I get a bit uncomfortable with impressionable chirren backin up a song loosely related to druggin and gunnin.
49. I Reiterate the value of a live band in all rap performances.
    
50. It occurs to me half way through this..no one REALLY cares who wins these damn awards.

So maybe I will stop here. For now.


Writer's note: I had to break up the Katrina thing...It is coming...I promise.

Time heals all wounds, but does he teach lessons?

One of the luxuries distance and time provides is the ability to ponitifcate and write history. All the usual suspects culled the landscape for scientific evidence and the sheer mountain of video and audio footage and put forth their stories.

Well, not ALL the usual suspects.

I surveyed the 500 channel landscape for Katrina retrospectives, and mostly they all dealt from the same decks of cards.

• Everyone and their mother had a pretty good jump on the fact that the storm was going to hit in that general area.
• The local and state governments were overwhelmed and outgunned, working with a dilapidated infrastructure and impossible conditions.
• People who chose to stay did so for many reasons, the vast majority of which were perfectly understandable.
  
• The federal government failed on every possible level

In what is rapidly becoming the case, the truth is accessible. It may take several months for the truth to get out, but the truth WILL get out.

And it did.

Of course, by the time it was finally apparent what happened, no one cared.

If America is guilty of ANYTHING, it is guilty, first and foremost of selfishness.

"If it didn't happen to me or mine, I cannot be bothered with it"

SURE, American individuals are human beings, capable of amazing feats of charity, when their heartstrings are tugged properly.

America as an institution, could give a warm thimble of piss. It gets added to the list of national priorities, at the bottom, where it belongs.


But how can you say that????


Like this.

The storm narrowed towards New Orleans and Mississippi on Friday, President Bush immediately declared a state of emergency and the Mayor of New Orleans and Governor of Louisiana followed with the pronouncements of mandatory evacuations.

This is where it gets good.

From the moment President Bush declared a state of Emergency on Friday, FEMA was on the hook. This is one of the basic precepts of civics. In fact it was for situations LIKE this that Congress lumped FEMA into the cabinet level Department of Homeland Security. All those who shoveled dirt on the mayor and Governor conveniently ommitted this fact.

Once it was clear there was a lack of leadership from the top, it all came apart. This nation for all its power and all its structure hangs by the same thin thread of civility that every other nation does. People are people and when their very survival is at stake, they do what they feel they must.

Ironically enough, for all the talk of anarchy and murder and mayhem, how many people died due to homicide and violence with all the chaos????



FOUR.


All that talk...four homicides.

What happened to all the talk of chaos and mayhem?


Wither the evil gang bangers in the Superdome raping and pillaging?

The wicked thugs shooting at the National Guard?

Those allegations are seared in our memory, but they never panned out. Were the proper corrections made?

No, what fun is that? Especially when poor black people are the butt of the jokes?

In the end, the most remarkable thing is that people are still seeking the most basic of services one whole year later.

What have we learned....A whole lot...and not much at all it seems.


part two tomorrow.

Take a walk on Idlewild side

I was still pondering what I thought of Idlewild when my favorite media icon in waiting asked me about how it did.

It came in ninth, with about 6.5 million dollars in total box office, but it had the highest per screen average, at over $6,500/screen.


Yes, you ask, but how WAS it?


What Idlewild does is show the infinite possibilities of Hip-hop. It, for a moment, strips away all the bling and all the crack and all the hoochieism, and replaces it with, fly ass clothes, moonshine and uh...women.

The acting is inconsistent, the script probably could have used a firm hand, the music was great(although nowhere NEAR as good as the soundtrack), and overall, I enjoyed myself, and that, is what really matters.

This movie cements the argument of greatest Hip-Hop group of all time.

Run-DMC will be the gold standard of groups because they presided over Hip-hop's ascendency. They took Hip-Hop from Krush Groove to Run's House. But they also gave us Tougher than Leather, the cinematic equivalent of rat piss.

Outkast, along with Run-DMC can string together a collection of hits that spans the music spectrum, from The beatlesesque fervor of Hey Ya, to an EWFian The Way you Move, to a Lenny Kravitzy B.O.B, to...oh heck...you get the point.

Southerplayalisticadillacfunkymusic was 13 years ago.

When that album was dropped, New York was slowly relinquishing it's stranglehold on rap to the West Coast, George W Bush was still getting high, and Prince was crazier than Michael Jackson.

thirteen years later, Outkast is STILL the most dynamic group in Hip-Hop, the perfect merging of Andre's ying and BigBoi's yang into a musical force that pulls all of black music into a long awaited family reunion of funk, rock, gospel, and soul.


I could go on and on...but this was about the movie.


The movie was ok....if you gotta choose...just get the soundtrack and catch the DVD.

But if youre AT the movies, it is probably about the most sure entertainer on a bad roster of movies. (Little Miss Sunshine being the notable exception)




The N

Just when I thought I was out, they keep pullin me back in

It has been one of those weekends in the land of DaveyWayne. I spent Friday in the doctor's office investigating a personal record high blood pressure reading. From there I celebrated my new high risk health status by breaking out my apron and pen and slinging shrimp this weekend for old times sake at the Shrimp plantation.

Due to some issues at the Rugrat Ranch and the after-effects of my trip back to Pittsburgh and Maryland, my cashflow had reached an unacceptable level. So much so, that after a few trips to the gas station with handfuls of quarters I decided to pull my apron and monkey suit off the mantle and get about the business of pulling my rapidly separating ends closer together.

There are a few truisms that persist in the restaurant world:

• I still owe you folk a substantial overview of the restaurant industry from the inside out.
• There is something unseemly about trucking your small children into restaurants after 9:30 pm
• Virtually all the rules of chivalry vis-a-vis how to take a young lady to dinner have been completely and totally lost on young men.
  

What, In Hell, Do You Want?

This is the message that I will be preaching at Temple of Faith Baptist Church today.

There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, "Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire."

But Abraham replied, "Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us."

He answered, "Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment."

Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them."

"No, father Abraham," he said, "but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent."

He said to him, "If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead."

Luke 16:19-32

Hell is real. It is a place of torment where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth, where souls are tormented day and night forever and ever. This is a reality that greatly offends the sensibilities of many postmodern peoples, but their offended sensibilities can not change the reality of the existence of Hell. Some will ask how a loving God can send people to eternal torment, and that is a fair question. The answer is tied to God's holiness - God is absolutely holy, and He will not have sinfulness in His presence. The fact of the matter is that people send themselves to Hell with their sinfulness, yet God has made a provision for people to escape the horror of Hell through accepting the atoning work of Jesus Christ on their behalf, by submitting to His Lordship. Much the same way that everyone is not entitled to a presidential pardon for their crimes, everyone is not entitled to salvation from the penalty of their sins. However, God has made it possible for everyone to be pardoned, through accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, the only way to escape the reality of Hell.

It is much like a white dress with an ink stain. It takes a specific solvent to remove the stain of ink from a garment, and without that solvent the dress will remain stained forever. Nobody is going to wear a white dress with an ink stain, they will get it cleaned, and if the dress refuses to be cleaned by the only cleansing agent that can remove the stain of ink then that dress will be eternally separated from its owner, thrown away to be remembered no more. So it is with people with regard to our creator - if we will not be cleansed by the only cleansing agent that can remove the stain of sin then we will be cast into Hell, destined to be remembered no more.

There are, of course, those who would disagree with what the Bible clearly teaches. Carlton Pearson, who was at once a major Pentecostal preacher on the national scene, has rejected the words of Jesus and is now teaching that everyone will get to heaven, no matter their walk, no matter their talk, no matter about the way they live. Carlton Pearson believes that God gave him "new" revelation that everyone is already redeemed, that Hell is a present reality on earth, not an ontological existence in eternity. But Carlton Pearson would have been wise to read his Bible, because we are told to check the spirit by the Spirit, because every spirit is not of God. Carlton Pearson may well have heard a voice, and it may well have told him exactly what he heard, but I can assure you that it was not the voice of God.

Jesus spoke more often about Hell than he spoke about heaven, and He spoke of Hell as an eternal punishment in the hereafter for people's sinfulness in this life. Jesus said, "Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, 'is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." Jesus said, "It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Jesus said, "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in Hell." Hell is real, and we need to adhere to the truth of the Word of God – we need to listen to Jesus instead of making stuff up on our own. It's like someone refusing to believe in the HIV virus. Their lack of belief does not change the reality of the virus' existence, and if they don't take the necessary precautions then they will experience HIV personally.

So it is with Hell.

We see in this text that the rich man wanted three things when he suddenly found himself in Hell, three things that we would do well to pursue in this life lest we find ourselves in Hell with a realigned paradigm. First, the rich man wanted his pain to be placated by the redeemed. Isn't it interesting how people don't really care about those who are suffering until they are the one suffering? It's almost funny watching conservatives when they hit hard times - that blaming-the-victim thing goes right out the window then. Then you don't hear a peep about lazy people who just need to get a job. Then it's, "Have pity on me!" When people find themselves in that situation in this life it is the responsibility of the Christian to show them love, to comfort them, to help them, to pray for them, even though the suddenly-down-and-out may not have thought about anyone else in this life, ever. However, in death there is only judgment, not compassion. The response from Abraham (circumlocution for the Father) to the rich man was essentially, "I can't do nothing for you, man."

What's even more interesting in this passage is that Lazarus never says a word. In fact, we are not led to believe that Lazarus was even aware of the conversation that was going on. Those who have been cast into Hell will be remembered no more, they are functionally nonexistent to the redeemed in eternity. It's like the worst punishment that I can remember as a child. It was a hot, summer day in Detroit and I was grounded. There was no central air - they built houses in Detroit with central heat back in the day - so there was no relief from the heat and, in fact, it was hotter inside than outside. All of my friends were outside playing while I was stuck inside doing chores. I could see my friends outside playing, I could hear my friends outside playing, I coud identify each and every one of them by name, but they couldn't see inside of my house through the plate glass window. They couldn't see my suffering, and the truth of the matter is that they didn't even notice that I wasn't out there playing with them. I was remembered no more, and it was entirely my own fault.

This is where the rich man found himself - hot, suffering, on the wrong side of joy, without hope - and it was entirely his own fault. In life he lived lavishly and cared nothing about the least of these at his own doorstep. In life he was all about himself, never submitting to God. In life he was concerned about bling-blinging, pushing work and rolling on dubs, but he got an attitude adjustment when he suddenly found himself in Hell. Suddenly, he knew Lazarus’ name. Suddenly, he was begging instead of giving orders like he did in life. Suddenly, he was in pain instead of the comfort that he had in life. Things can go mighty well for the unbeliever in this life until "Suddenly" happens. Suddenly, this rich man wanted his pain to be placated by the redeemed. Suddenly, this rich man was concerned about those who were suffering. Suddenly, this rich man began to think like a Christian, but by then it was too late. Don’t wait for "Suddenly" to happen before you turn your life over to Jesus, because suddenly you too will find that it is too late. This rich man suddenly found out that Hell was for real.

The second thing that the rich man wanted was his people to prepare for the resurrection. The rich man accepted his fate, saying, "Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house..." When people realize that they are in serious trouble their thoughts often go toward their family. If their family can not comfort them then they want their family to avoid their fate, their mistakes, their errors. The rich man wanted his family to act shrewedly like the dishonest manager, settling accounts so that they'd be positioned for their inevitible move, but once again his request was denied. The response was, "They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them." "Moses and the Prophets" was a euphamism for Scripture, and the rich man was told that his family had all the revelation that they needed in Scripture. We have been give all that we need when it comes to eternal security - it is in God's Word, the Bible. The Bible is our sole source of authority on matters of faith and life and all we have to do is apply the Word to our lives. The rich man's family thought this was absurd - it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven - and the rich man knew it, asking for Lazarus to be sent as a witness, but his family had already rejected the only witness that they would ever need.

It’s like someone trying to drive to Hawaii, who refuses to look at a map. They’re just going to head west and do the best that they can. They’re basically a good driver; that should be good enough to get them to Hawaii, right? Any road that they choose to take should get them to Hawaii, right? Everyone is going to make it to Hawaii anyway, right? You have to take the right vehicle along the right path to make it to your intended destination – you can’t drive a car to Hawaii, no matter how good of a driver you might be, and you can’t make it to heaven without Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, no matter how good of a person that you might be in the eyes of men.

The rich man in Hell wanted his people to prepare for the resurrection. Those of us who are saved will find ourselves in the presence of the Lord when we die, but the unsaved will suddenly find themselves in Hell. When Jesus returns, the dead in Christ – those in the presence of the Lord – will rise first; this is the resurrection for which the rich man wants his family to prepare. In that great getting-up morning those of us who are alive will be changed in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye – the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. Jesus could come at any time, Suddenly can overtake you at any time, so you have to be prepared to see Jesus face-to-face.

The third thing that the rich man wanted was for his peers to prioritize repentance. We have to understand that without repentance there is no salvation. In order to accept Jesus as savior we must first accept Him as Lord. We must acknowledge that we have sinned. We must believe that Jesus died and rose again for our sins. We must confess Jesus as Lord of our lives. It all begins with repentance – turning from our sinful ways and calling them what God calls them: sin. The rich man wanted his peers to repent of their sins; he wanted Lazarus to warn them of their pending doom. Once again, his request was denied: "If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead." The problem was their stony hearts, their unbelief, not their lack of knowledge. They didn’t need a rhema word from the recently deceased, they needed saving faith in the living God. What they needed was sit-in-it faith.

What's sit-in-it faith?

If I see a chair I may believe that it can hold me, but I exercise sit-in-it faith when I actually sit down in the chair, putting my weight and my faith on the chair. Saving faith is that chair-holding-my-weight faith, not the notional assent of, "Yeah, I believe that the chair existed once, two thousand years ago." Saving faith sits in the chair, it is a faith that works since faith without works is truly dead. After all, faith breeds works like love breeds actions. I love you but I never say that to you? I love you but I never do anything for you? I love you but I never touch you? I love you but I never get you anything? I love you but I never spend any time with you? Love without action is dead – nothing but empty words – just like faith without works. We need a faith that works in order to be saved - we need sit-in-it faith.

The rich man’s peers, like himself, lacked faith, not knowledge. People who ask for a sign are usually looking for an excuse, not verification. "Prove it" is never a statement of confidence in the object’s ability to prove it. Even after it is proven, people rarely believe, they just ask for another sign: "Alright, do it again!" If Jesus would have come down from the cross the scoffers would have said, "That’s a nice trick; now let’s see you nail yourself back to the cross!" It’s like Eddie Murphy in the beginning of Coming To America, when he had the girl stand on one leg and bark like a dog. Once they can get you to submit to their will they will play with you until they tire of you, then they will dismiss you. They have no interest in that which they ask you to prove, they’re just waiting for you to fail so that they can say, "See? I told you there was nothing to that!" Those who need proof lack faith in the source of their inquiry. If a wife needs proof that her husband is faithful to her then she lacks faith in her husband (possibly justifiably). If a boss need proof of an employee’s time spent working then the employer lacks faith in the employee. Those who need proof that Jesus rose from the dead lack faith in Jesus. The disciple Thomas lacked faith in the risen savior, but when confronted by Jesus Himself Thomas repented of his lack of faith and confessed, "My Lord and my God!" You don’t want to find yourself in Hell, finally discovering a passion for lost souls. You need to accept Jesus Christ as Lord today, because tomorrow can come Suddenly.

When we understand the reality of Hell it should comfort the Christian that we will spend eternity in the presence of the Lord. However, understanding the reality of the horror of Hell should also drive the Christian to share our faith with the lost, those who are heading to Hell, so that they can avoid that fate. We share our faith in Jesus Christ not in a braggadocios manner, in a "We’re right and you’re wrong!" better-than-you kind of way, but from a compassionate perspective of desiring everyone to avoid the torment of Hell. Ultimately, those who reject Jesus’ lordship over their lives will find themselves suddenly in Hell, but those of us whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life will remember them no more. This is why Jesus never mentions the rich man’s name – it wasn’t an oversight – the rich man’s name was not written in the Book of Life; he was remembered no more. When the Day of Judgment comes, will Jesus recognize you as one of His own, or will He say on that day, "I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers."

The choice is yours – you can know Him as Savior or you can know Him as Judge.

May the LORD bless you and keep you;
May the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
And may the LORD,
Who wants you to rest in Him for all eternity,
May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

Now I understand the desire to Crossover but THIS is ridiculous

Michael Steele, master of the Killer Crossover


I am loathe to trust ANY man who has had fund-raisers sponsored by Dick Cheney AND Russell Simmons. I really admire the notion of a Black Republican, especially on the national level. I get a bit irritated, however when they start pandering to black voters, as though we didn't SEE him hugged up with President Bush, his HOMEBOY, just the other day.

What this really is about, though is the notion of what party politics REALLY is.

You can put 20 Democrats in a room and get 30 different ideologies. You got your hard core Lefties, your single issue renegades, and your big tent special interest folk.

Republicans...you got TWO groups....Bushies...and pariahs.


And when you got aDick or a Bush hosting a fund-raiser for you...there is some screwing going on somewhere.

Russell Simmons bless his heart, has made a curious political calculation. He is banking on the fact that Rep. Benjamin Cardin, an admittedly random slightly to the right of the usual Democrat will hold off the politically resurrected Kweisi Mfume on September 12 and give Black folk the ultimate choice.


IN THIS CORNER... a charismatic handsome African-American state-wide office holder who just may actually show up in a black neighborhood

IN THIS CORNER...an admittedly random white downstate maryland congressman who has ZERO name recognition in the core of the state (Washington Suburbs and Baltimore)

but what happens if the choice is Steele against

...A charismatic Black former congressman from Baltimore, who headed the national NAACP (and did or did not run it into the ground) with a great deal of credibility in the state...


The choice becomes much more nuanced...and the sparks WILL fly.

Vacation is over...almost.

I was sitting at my desk minding my business and I got called on the carpet. This man told me he was not pleased. He said he expected me to be on my job and he was disappointed in me. I felt bad. I felt REALLY bad.


It has been a long summer and I have not pulled my weight on this blog.

I view this as my own property to do as I see fit. I come and go as I please, answering to no one. I think the reality is that we (bloggers, authors, artists) are beholden to our readers. I can recite some random profundity to myself whenever I please, but unless you roll up behind me while I am talkin to myself (aloud) then you will never know what I said.

I do need to be mindful that my gift was given to me to be given to others and that I need to not squander it by keeping it to myself.

From my cruise to the move into the Palace to the sojourn back home to spend time with my sons and take them to school to the ongoing saga of blissful monogamy, I have had a myriad of reasons for my absence.

But all good things must come to an end.


Vacations, honeymoons and the like are only sabbaticals from the responsibility that lies in all of us. At some point they end, and once they do, it becomes time to get back on the grind. It may take a day or two to get used to the new teacher, or the new students. It may even take a few days to get back into the routine of business as usual.

But as much as you try to deny it, regular days beckon.


School's in boys and girls, Davey Wayne is back.

Word For The Week

I got caught up in a discussion last night with an atheist on DailyKos (believe it or not, there are indeed one or two atheists on DailyKos) about Christians in politics. It is abundantly clear to me that we need to get two things straight - specifically, what is a theocracy and what does the 1st Amendment mean when it states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion"? Additionally, should Christians even engage in politics and if so, how?

Theocracy
I am about tired of this straw man being thrown around any time a Christian advocates laws that reflects Christian values. Christians are trying to do is the same thing that non-Christians are trying to do politically - have our views and preferences reflected in the law of the land. Everyone who is involved in politics gets involved for the purpose of having their beliefs and preferences reflected in the laws and policies of the nation. That's the nature of democratic politics (small "d" democratic) - everyone brings their preferences, desires, hopes, and fears to the public square and we collectively establish laws and policies to govern our society via majority rule (Diebold notwithstanding). This is not about Christians trying to make this a Christian nation any more than is it about farmers trying to make this a farming nation or gays trying to make this a homosexual nation.

Moreover, it might be helpful if people actually looked up the definition of the word Theocracy. From Webster's:

Main Entry: the·oc·ra·cy
Pronunciation: thE-'ä-kr&-sE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -cies
Etymology: Greek theokratia, from the- + -kratia -cracy
1 : government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided

Any proper understanding of Theocracy - including Webster's - connotes and denotes God as the source of authority. That is why this straw man accusation can not stand - Christians are not seeking to make God the authority of the government of United States of America through politics, and without the authoritative component you do not have theocracy. After all, if one were to say that a government run by religious officials constitutes a theocracy then you'd have to claim that America was founded as a theocracy - the overwhelming majority of the founders were pious men of faith.

The truth of the matter is that by any proper use of the word Theocracy, even the northern kingdom of Israel or the southern kingdom of Judah in the Old Testament couldn't be called "theocracies" - neither of them were governments of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided, the possible exceptions being the reigns of David, Solomon, Hezekiah and Josiah. Even then, according to the Old Testament text itself, these were not theocracies: "And the LORD told [Samuel]: Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king.'" "The LORD answered, 'Listen to them and give them a king.'"

Rather difficult to have a government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided when the Israelites had rejected divine guidance.

Many secular people appear to reject the idea of Christians having our thoughts reflected in the laws of the land, but their problem is with Democracy, not with some straw man that they call Theocracy.

Seperation of Church and State
What does this phrase mean, and why does it get so much pub when it's not even found in the Constitution? The original intent of the 1st Amendment was to keep the government out of religion, to keep the Episcopalians and Congregationalists from outlawing Baptist expressions of worship. THAT is the seperation of church and state, from Thomas Jefferson's own pen. It is not the separation of religious thought from state legislation.

What is the basis of American laws? The obvious and pithy response is, "The will of the people" and ultimately, that is indeed all that matters (Constitutional prohibitions notwithstanding). If Ms. Cleo informs the thinking of enough people to affect the laws of the land then there will be some phony-Jamacan accented laws on the books. If the flight trajectory of migratory swallows affects the thinking of enough Americans then there will be some bird-brained laws on the books. If the will of God affects the thinking of enough Americans then there will be some Godly laws on the books. That's not theocracy - that's democracy, and like President Andrew Shepherd said:

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad, because it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil who is standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the 'land of the free'? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the 'land of the free.'"

Naturally, many people who object to Christians bringing our Christianity to the public square will try to find some hook to hang their hat upon, but their problem is not with theocracy, their problem is with Democracy.

Christian Politics
So how should Christians interact with politics? That is a question with which Christians have wrestled since Jesus walked the earth. Jesus’ response is well-known to Christians and non-Christian alike in the western world, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; and to God the things that are God’s.” (Matt. 22:21) But beyond paying taxes, do we owe anything else to “Caesar”? What about our allegiance? Do we pledge allegiance to the flag or to the cross? One fundamental problem that American Christians have is that we confuse our nouns and adjectives: are we Christians who live in America or are we Americans who believe in Christ? There is a world of difference between the two, and that difference is life and death (Matt. 7:21-29). Christians who live in America pledge our allegiance to Jesus Christ – if there is a difference between the commands of America and the commands of Jesus Christ then Christians who live in America will obey Jesus Christ’s standard instead of the American standard, while Americans who believe in Christ will follow the American standard instead of Jesus’ standard. It is a question of submission – to whose authority do we submit? Jesus said that no man can serve two masters – either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other (Matt. 6:24). Jesus’ immediate context was money, but the same is true of ultimate allegiance – if there is a conflict in commands and expectations, will we side with America or Jesus? Everyone must choose for themselves whom they will serve, as Joshua told the children of Israel (Josh. 24:15). Paul tells us that this world in which we live is evil and that we must not be conformed to this world – we must be transformed by the renewing of our mind, setting our minds on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. Yet, as Jesus’ ambassadors to the world, Christians must be in the world but not of the world so that we may transform the world. That means that we must be involved in the world and its politics – even though politics cannot in and of itself transform the world – and we must do that in such a way that God is glorified and the Kingdom is advanced.

A Christian political philosophy must flow from and be informed by our theology – our perspective on the nature and character of God. God created all that is ex nihilo – out of nothing – including earth and mankind. Mankind was created good but, through man’s disobedience to the will of God as revealed through the Word of God, mankind fell from that good state such that it is now natural for us to choose that which is opposed to the nature and character of God (i.e. sin). Nevertheless, God demonstrated His own love for us in this – while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. The Just died for us, the unjust, to bring us to God – such that to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God (Rom. 5:8, 1 Pet. 3:18, John 1:12-13). Accordingly, the only way that a Christian can view the world is through the lens of the Great Commission which says:

Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

There are a number of implications from this passage that should inform any policy position that a Christian takes:

1. All authority comes from God through Jesus Christ
2. Christians are to make disciples of all nations
3. Christians are to baptize these disciples in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit
4. Christians are to teach these disciples to obey everything that He has commanded
5. Jesus is with us Christians until the end of the age

All authority comes from God through Jesus Christ
Democracy is the best structure within which human beings may be governed by human beings. Likewise, capitalism is the best system for exchanging goods and services. However, neither of these systems is infallible or indispensable. They are useful – exceedingly useful, but merely useful. The secular world views capitalism and democracy (in that order) to be that for which they would fight and die. Democracy and capitalism are to Americans what grace and mercy are to Christians – the means of interacting with our sovereign and each other. Americans believe that power is wielded legitimately only by the consent of the governed. Jesus, however, posited the source of legitimate authority elsewhere. When Pilate wondered why Jesus wouldn’t answer his inquiries, he asked Jesus, “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?” Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.” Pilate was a governor, appointed by Caesar. You would think that Pilate’s authority came from Caesar – Pilate certainly thought so – but Jesus posits ultimate authority in God. Jesus retorts earlier, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matt. 10:28) This antithetical parallelism that Jesus employs emphasizes the fact that our loyalty to God should outweigh our loyalty to the “gods” of this world such that it seems like we are ignoring Bush and his GOP. It does not mean that we should ignore the government or our stewardship of our civic responsibilities – we must render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s – and in our cultural context that is political involvement as well as paying taxes.

The failure to be involved is similar to the failure to pay taxes – the effective operation of our government as it was designed is dependent upon our participation as well as our tax dollars. While Jesus’ teaching does not imply – or even allow for – isolation from the world, it does mean that we must seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, such that all other things will be brought into line. This means that whenever we begin to think about an issue that faces this society we must remember where the source of authority lies – it is not in the consent of the governed; it is not in an act of Congress; it is not in an executive order; it is not in the latest ruling of the Supreme Court. All authority is in Jesus Christ – all authority – and while we must respect and operate within the civil authority of the state, the starting point of any Christian discussion of political issues must begin with the authority of Jesus Christ.

Christians are to make disciples of all nations
In 1992 James Stockdale, Ross Perot’s running mate, opened the Vice Presidential debate with the humorous quip, “Who am I? Why am I here?” It was humorous because he was not a politician, relatively unknown, and yet he was in the political spotlight. The question, however, is quite profound, and we need to ask ourselves, “Who are we? Why are we here?” This question drives philosophers to dream and minstrels to sing – each inquiring about that one thing: “Who are we and why are we here?” Africans throughout the Diaspora who are separated from the land of our ancestors have struggled to sing the Lord’s songs in a strange land, and we struggle for an identity, for collective self-esteem. We need to answer the question, “Who are we and why are we here.” To answer that question we must look to our Creator. David inquired of God, “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained; what is man that you take thought of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” Who are we and why are we here?

Christians are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that we may declare the praises of Him who called us out of darkness into His wonderful light. This language that Peter used to describe the Church is taken from Exodus 19:5-6 when God cut a covenant with the children of Israel. Israel was chosen, elected if you will, for a purpose – namely to reconcile the world back to God in fulfillment of Genesis 12:1-3, which was fulfilling Genesis 3:15c. Israel, however, failed to fulfill the purpose for which she was elected. Israel did not minister to peoples in order to share the grace of God that was given to them – they separated themselves from the rest of the world and considered themselves to be something special that the outsiders – the Gentiles – could only hope to be. They wholeheartedly embraced the “chosen people” and “a people belonging to God” while rejecting – or terminally neglecting – the “royal priesthood” and “holy nation” parts. This rejection caused the northern kingdom of Israel to be destroyed by the Assyrians and the southern kingdom of Judah to be destroyed by the Babylonians.

Today, salvation is free to you and me – even to us Gentiles – since in Christ Jesus there is neither Gentile nor Jew, slave nor free, male nor female, circumcised nor uncircumcised. Our situation in life is not the determining factor in our relationship with the Father; it is our relationship with the Son, and our primary purpose as Christians is to make all nations – all people-groups – disciples of Jesus Christ. We must extend a horizontal connection to our neighbors in order to facilitate their vertical connection to the Father through the authority of the Son in the power of the Spirit. Any position that we take on a political issue must keep this primary purpose in mind – reconciling the world back to God must remain the main thing.

Christians are to baptize these disciples in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit
This is the point where Baptists have historically emphasized baptism by immersion. While that is indeed the mode of baptizing employed by the apostles in scripture, it is not the emphasis of this passage. The emphasis of this passage is bringing people into the community of faith by a public declaration of their faith. In whom is this faith placed?

We believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of all things visible and invisible; And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the only-begotten of the Father, that is, from the substance of the Father, God of God, light of light, true God of true God, begotten, not made, of one substance with the Father, through whom all things were made, both in heaven and on earth, who for us humans and for our salvation descended and became incarnate, becoming human, suffered and rose again on the third day, ascended to the heavens, and will come to judge the living and the dead; And in the Holy Spirit.

– From The Nicene Creed

As we ponder public policy we must remember to keep our mission of global reconciliation back to God as the main thing, and we must remember by whose authority we operate. Our mission is to facilitate people coming into relationship with God. Our mission is not to get people to live moral lives, although that should be an outworking of people coming into a relationship with God (Matt. 5:16, Gal. 5:22-23). Our mission is not to create a just society where people can realize their full potential, although that should be an outworking of people coming into relationship with God (Rom. 12). Our mission is to facilitate people coming into relationship with God through Christ in the power of the Spirit, and to bring them into the community of faith. God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their sins against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg the nations on behalf of Christ, “Be reconciled to God” (2 Cor. 5:19-20). That is our mission. That is the main thing.

Christians are to teach these disciples to obey everything that He has commanded
What has He commanded? The first and foremost command is for explicit faith exclusively in Jesus (John 14:6). It is by grace alone through faith alone in Jesus Christ alone that we are saved (Eph. 2:8-9). All of human destiny centers on the person and work of Jesus Christ, and apart from Him there is no salvation (Matt. 10:32-33). We are first of all commanded to publicly place our faith in Jesus for the salvation of our soul. Jesus summed up all other scriptural teaching in Matthew 22:37-40 when he answered critics by saying:

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." On these two commandments depend the whole law and the prophets.

The Jews of the 1st Century AD referred to the scripture as having three parts: the law, the prophets, and the writings. Sometimes they would refer to the whole of scripture as the Law, or the Law and the Prophets, while other times they would refer to the individual sections. In this text, Jesus is referring to the whole of scripture hinging on these two commandments – love God and love your neighbors. Jesus was asked what the single greatest commandment was – they asked for one commandment – but Jesus gave them two. The vertical and the horizontal are intricately linked – you cannot separate the two. If we love God with all that we are then that will manifest itself in our love for the people who God loves, namely everyone. (John 3:16) If we don’t love God fully and our neighbors unreservedly then we will quickly fall into legalism – just following a list of rules – such that on that day Jesus will say, “I never knew you.” (Matt. 7:21-23) The vertical relationship cannot be decoupled from the horizontal relationships – we cannot emphasize personal piety over social concerns or social concerns over personal piety. The two are intimately linked, and what God in Christ has joined together, let no man tear asunder.

One thing that we cannot forget is who it was that Jesus commanded us to teach to obey all that He commanded. It is those from all nations who, by the authority of Jesus Christ, have been made into disciples and have publicly professed their faith in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that we are to teach to obey all that Jesus commanded. We cannot expect those who are not Christ’s disciples to act like Christ’s disciples. We must stand up for what is right and stand against that which is wrong in society, but we cannot expect people to abide by the commands of One to whom they have not pledged allegiance, to whom they have not submitted. That would be like the Russians expecting Americans to abide by Russian law here in America. As we consider public policy, Christians must strive to create an environment in society that facilitates the furtherance of the gospel – keeping the main thing as the main thing. All else should be considered as a pile of fecal material (Phil. 3:8).

Jesus is with us Christians until the end of the age
Jesus said that there would be wars and rumors of wars, but we must see to it that we are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes, but all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs. Then they will deliver Christians to tribulation, and will kill us, and we will be hated by all nations because of Jesus’ name. At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another. Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many. Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved. This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come. But immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. And then the sign of the son of man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky with power and great glory. And He will send forth his angels with a great trumpet and they will gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other. (Matt. 24:6-14, 29-31)

People often wonder just how soon the end will be. Christians are facing tribulation in many places in the world, even death. Even in America Christians are hated as being intolerant zealots. Many of us know people who used to profess faith in Jesus Christ and are now agnostic or functionally atheists. There has been a significant falling away from the truth already, such that we even have to argue about what is epistemological truth. Theological conservatives often display animosity toward theological liberals who hate the conservatives right back. As to false prophets leading people astray, TBN (sometimes pejoratively called “Twisting the Bible Nightly” or “Totally Bogus Network”) is proof positive. The law in America – and especially in international relations – works on a sliding scale in favor of the haves against the have-nots, with cronyism and cynicism currently more common than breathable air. These are not the best of times.

One may wonder if the end is coming upon us as a thief in the night, but we are called to persevere to the end – something that we can do because He promised that He would be with us until the end of the age. He delivered on His promise to send the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, who helps us to stand firm in the struggle (John 14:26). We understand that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, we must take up the full armor of God, so that we will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm then, having surrounded yourself with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Eph. 6:12-17). For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:3-5). As we consider public policy we must understand the nature of the warfare into which we have been thrust so that we can maintain our focus on the main thing – facilitating people coming into relationship with God through Christ in the power of the Spirit, growing them up within the community of faith to stand firm in this evil day.

May the LORD bless you and keep you;
May the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
And may the LORD,
Who wants you to fulfil the Great Commission,
May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

Greetings from the Steel City

For the next six days, yours truly will be gallavanting about the city of his birth, Pittsburgh, PA with his mother, DaveyWayne'sMomma, and his two sons, DaveyWayne 3.0(7) and DaveyWayne 3.1(4). He brings you greetings from his favorite library growing up Carnegie Library in Squirrel Hill .


He will return to give a post of significance once bedtime has been established.

My Concession Speech

In light of everyone else's Campaigning for a Black Weblog Award, I decided to evaluate my own candidacy for one.

I was weighed, I was measured, and I was found wanting.

Let me be clear, fellow bloggers and blog-readers, I would like nothing more than to earn a BWA. I am a proud American and I am a man. Winning doesn't suck in the least.

But I am a realist, and I have scoped out the competition.

The competition is a good friend of mine.

I am not fit to tie the shoes of the competition.

Is that to say I haven't had some good moments? Oh, but I have.

But this has not been my best year.

This has been my first year.

I am looking forward to shaking the sophomore slump I am currently in and delivering on a more consistent basis.

To those of you who thought highly enough of this little collection of 0s and 1s to vote for me on any level, I thank you.

To those of you who think highly enough of me to keep coming back day after day, even as I disappoint at times, I thank you as well.

To those of you on the blogroll to my immediate left(your right), thank you for an inspiring year. Mere BWAs are woefully insufficient to reward your hard work for the year.


I wish all of you good Luck and Godspeed.

Enjoy this years BWAs.

Cause I'ma be on all yalls asses next year.


scraight up.

Blowing the dust off...

Well, If you've wandered over this way looking for something, anything interesting for me this weekend, you have left with nothing more than a burn in on Friday's post.

Since I returned from the 1st annual DaveyWayne summer cruise, I have struggled with the summer blahs. I blamed FW's being home, moving into the still Palatial Palace @ Funkytown East. I blamed the rugrats, I blamed everyone but myself.

Now the summer is over.

(when your life is child-focused, the moment those little germ pushers darken the door of school in appreciable numbers, summer is OVER, even IF it's still gonna be 105 today)

FW went off to resume her status as the most wonderful pedagogue in all the world.

I am on my way to the Ranch, which will certainly be more quiet than any other time since Memorial Day.

In 48 Hours I will be flying to Pittsburgh, but more on that later.

In the meantime, a funky good morning to all my friends.

I will be back to purge later.

The next nominee for Extreme Public Relations Makeover: Donald Sterling

L.A. Clippers Owner Accused of Housing Bias - Los Angeles Times


The Justice Department on Monday filed a discrimination suit against Los Angeles Clippers owner and real estate mogul Donald Sterling, accusing him of favoring Korean tenants while seeking to exclude African Americans and families with children from his apartment buildings in Los Angeles County.


btw...hes already settled ONE of these out of court.

The Friday morning mind purge

So, our government has saved us again. Well actually the UK's government has saved us.

You will have to excuse me if I don't get vertigo thanking them.

Yes, they caught some criminals, and to be honest, I am eternally glad they did. Apparently thousands of lives were saved.

At the end of the day, however, those Terrorists will be replaced with others. The emotion and passion that drives terrorism cannot be defeated by mere capture incarceration or even execution.

Terrorism is FOREVER, boys and girls.

Yesterday's boxcutters become todays gels and liquids and go on to become tomorrow's _______.

Do we lay down and let them terrorize us? No.

Do we return their fascism with our own? No.

We stay vigilant and wary, and we rise above their narrowly focused rage with love and peace.

Even if that love in peace is at the end of the gas chamber.


Just as the rest of the world has had to deal with the slings and arrows of outrageous terror, now, we too will have to be ever vigilant.


Make sure you hydrate yourself and lotion down before going to the airport.


Thirsty and Ashy is no way to fly the friendly skies.

The Road too often Travelled - Maurice Clarett's Flameout of Epic proportions

This will be cross posted on Three Yards

Maurice Clarett arrested

Clarett's story is about as sad as they come. I watched him for most of his Freshman year and he was a genuine running back. Not because he was SO big, or SO fast, but because he knew HOW to run and it was easy for him.

Clearly, It was too easy.


It was so easy, he saw no need to grow. When it came time to make the jump from good college player to college superstar, he was most unprepared. Combine that with the sense of entitlement all too common in today's athelete, and you have a recipe for disaster.

The Flavor of Love Recap Season 2 1.1

When Flavor of Love came on last year, I didn't watch it, both because of a personal aversion to reality tv and because, well, I didn't have cable.

I watched from afar as all my favorite entertainment blogs talked about the whos and whats of season one.

As the whole Hoopz thing crashed and burned and VH1 greenlit Season two...the sheer absurdity of it all just drew me in.

And After watching 10 minutes of Episode one...I realized this needed a full Scale recap.

What I don't know is if I can do a whole episode at once.

I watched the end of Celebrity Fit Club...(BoneCrusher and Angie Stone?) while watching the whole ticking heart dwindle down to nothing....and then...


Foreigner...wait..wasnt this some Gospel song? Ahhh do they even make power ballads anymore?

Let me say first off that Flavor Flav is the ugliest dude walkin.


We get what is supposed to be highlights of the show. No point in giving this away.



First off...I'm thinking this is NOT his house.

We are opening to a recap of how this foolishness started.

Him with Public Enemy
Him on the Surreal Life 3 with Bridgette Nielsen.
Him on Flavor of Love I
Him dissing random chicks...
Him finding Hoopz
Hoopz losing him.

Cue the audience...AWWWWW


He told the producers..NO MORE GOLDIGGERS...*wink*

Then he pops up out of the Excursion Limo.

Cue to the girl with the weird ass Lisp..."flav ith the shnazziest dressher"
Cue the Michelle Williams stunt double..."I dont trust none of those whores...I can't help what I got...I got beauty and the booty...Touches a steaming ass.

Cue the purposely unattractive blonde girl with the Michael Strahan gap in her teeth...
"His birthday is the day of realistic inspiration...My birthday is the day of unfailing vision...so together I think we can create some seriously bombasshit.

Cue the buxom happy girl who picks Flav up off the ground.


So we get a group shot of the 20 girls.

Flav dons the viking helmet and Im thinking,

KILL DA WABBIT KILL DA WABBBIT...YEAHHHHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEE.

then we go to the girls tearing through the house to find a bed

Then two girls start fighting. RUMBLING....Someone said this shit was staged...naw dude..THEY WERE SCRAPPIN.

Cut to commercial, which thanks to the miracles of DVR...we fast forward through.
It was at this point, I realized...This cat was 1/2 (1/3) of the most politically influential HipHop Group of all time and now...THIS?

back from the commercial...we pick back up with folk rumblin One sista and one woman of questionable ethnicity.

Im thinking the black girl has a handful of hair. All the other girls are watchin...

CUE THE LISPIN GIRL. "not thirty theconds"


White girl (I think?) calls the black girl "ghetto trash"


Flav says he needs peace and tranquility
He aint gonna have no shit like that in his crib...he pulls the girls in his room and talks to them


Then we cue the lispin diva again, who ALSO seems to have a gap in her teeth.(I am currently compiling a list of Gap jokes so this doesnt get stale, looks like I am going to need...several)
I am thinking...you got 20 chicks to do the running narration and you chose the one with the speech impediment?

Bring on the free liquor...lots of women...lots of liquor

One white girl is STRAIGHT GUZZLIN...I mean...ole girl is drinking like shes auditioning for Leaving Las Vegas.

Go to the two gladiatettes.
BG Im sory I hit you but you shouldnt be hittin people
WG: You hit me first
BG: Well Im sorry If I hit you first I dont think I hit you first, but if I did Im sorry
WG: i threw your flowers and then you hit me
BG: You hit me with the flowers
WG Well this isnt the streets of Compton
BG I dont live in Compton
WG Thats what you said
BG I SAID 54th and Crenshaw
WG: well THIS isnt CRENSHAW
BG: well it's close to it.

Immediate segue into Drunken girl on girl action...mostly kissing..or presumed kissing...

One divatypesista decides there are lesbians in the house...and thats a bit much for her

Girl 1 Are you a stripper?
Girl 2: No I'm an at home stripper. I wanna be a stripper, I got a pole in my room but no Customers...

back to the black Gladiette:
Lord Please forgive me for thinking about beatin this bitch ass again. Lord please rebuke all these demons in the house.

WG: is that neccessary
BG:...Girl you better stop interrupting my prayers before God direct me to whoop yo ass again.

Flav has GOTTA get to the bottom of this...

Flav talks to the White Gladiette
cue the tears...


Flav talks to the Black Gladiette
YOU KNOW I GOT A WEAVE...you cant be pullin no tracks...this is EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLA HAIR...

RErun the fight.

in slow motion..we can clearly see the black girl got in that ASS.


MANSION MEETING:

Flav says the black gladiette gotta go...which REALLY SUCKS...cause ole girl had hella character.

Then she just LIGHTS INTO THE White Gladiette...

YA ASS IS SAGGIN...etc etc...

and big Rick carries her ass out. Feet Kickin all the way.

ILL SEE YOU AGAIN HOE!
ILL SEE YOU AGAIN HOE!


GROUP HUG TIME...


go to commercial.

and dammit..I cant do this all at once...thank GAWD for DVR....im going to bed....at the 23 minute mark.

Ill do some more tomorrow. I have to get some sleep and regain my lost IQ points.

In case you were wondering...

I operated on the assumption that Cassie couldn't sing when I heard her song (which MAY or MAY NOT be about oral sex) and it had about 8 notes for her to sing.

Then I SAW her on 106 & Park.


Lawd...that child couldn't carry a tune if the Holy Spirit impregnated her with it.

You know it's bad when they have to turn your mic down so low that Diddy's adlibs on the track are louder than the lead singer...and HE ISN'T THERE.

FLAVOR OF LOVE ALERT

If you deem yourself too good to read a Flavor of Love recap, be warned.

I saw the first 10 minutes on DVR Sunday night and found myself sufficiently mortified that I have decided to do a full scale recap on it. I will settle into the Palace @ Funkytown East tonight and Post a full recap following the rebroadcast of Flavor of Love tonight at 9pm CDT on VH-1.


At press time, FW has indicated she will not be participating in this foolishness.

LOOK.! Over there...

I posted on Three Yards.

I am going to need all of you folk who claim to love the football to head on over there to get your gaze on.


Needless to say, there won't be ANY football going on over here any longer.

I am probably going to put this blog on the back burner to see exactly how much I am going to concentrate on the Football Blog.

Y'all got a problem with that?

Because you know, it IS all about y'all.

The deafening sound of silence

Silence has to be one of the most evil creations known to mankind. In the absence of an audible thought or opinion, all manner of evil can be concocted.

I am in the midst of the silent treatment.

13 hours of silent treatment is a long ass time. Well, it is for me.

I am going to spare you all the gory details, because as in most situations the truth varies on the perspective of the teller.

All I will say is my life will not be right until it is over.

Once again, It's on...

In a matter of minutes, Football Season will be upon us. This is a fact that will thrill some and make others run for the Lifetime Network.

In celebration of the start of football season, I am starting a new blog. This blog is designed to be somewhat of a catch-all for football, spanning from pee-wee to the NFL.

Needless to say, I will not be covering Pee-Wee football with the same tenacity I will the NFL, but I am not about to ignore the very building blocks of America's Pastime.

As I have pondered my foray into this new project, I realized how much of a part football has played in my life. It is certainly possible that, although I never actually played organized football, football has played a remarkably significant part of my life. Consider the places I have laid my head in my life time:

Pittsburgh(1970-1988, 1990-1992, 2002-2004): Home of the Five-Time World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers and former national Champion University of Pittsburgh Panthers; Birthplace of such Football Luminaries as Unitas, Namath, Kelly, Marino, Martin, Dorsett, Ditka, Cowher, Montana (I could probably go on, but I will just stop there) Part of one of the more fertile Division I recruiting grounds in the nation.

Tallahassee(1988-1990) Home of Florida A&M and Florida State Universities; located in another fertile recruiting ground for Division I football players.

Southern California(1992-1993) University of Southern California, and UCLA, a myriad of Powerhouse High School programs and the Oak...I mean Los Angeles Raiders.

Suburban Maryland(1993-2002) Home of the Washington Redskins and Baltimore Ravens, University of Maryland Terrapins, and a fairly significant High School Football culture.

Dallas/Fort Worth(2004-present) Dallas Cowboys, America's team...more High School Football than the law should allow.

I came of age during the golden era of NFL football, the 1970's. I watched as Baseball waned, basketball came and went and returned, Hockey muddled along....only to die and be born again.

The NFL has swallowed the AFL, smacked aside the WFL, withstood two bouts with labor strife and survived the USFL (the less said about the XFL, the better off we will all be) and become the king of the Sporting landscape.

College football has endured the worst Championship deciding mechanism since the coin flip and still is growing by leaps and bounds.

High School football is rapidly becoming a sport with a national focus.

In this environment, some needs to have their eye on the ball...and to matriculate down the field with the dynamic combination of powerful Lines of prose and speedy and steady analysis.

It is in that spirit I give you all...

Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust
DP on football

Word For The Week

Grace and peace to you
from God our Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ,
who gave Himself
for our sins
to rescue us
from the present evil age,
according to the will
of our God and Father,
to whom be glory
for ever and ever.
Amen.

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the One who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel — which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

Galatians 1:3-10

Last week it was suggested that I "rewrite [my] sermons in language that speaks to people of all stripes, not only those on the Father, Son and Holy Ghost train." The most telling thing about this suggestion is its context - I reread that which I wrote last week and discovered that I made a major mistake: not once did I mention the name of Jesus. In fact, what I wrote last week could have easily been written by a rabbi or an imam. I failed as a Christian, for the gospel of Christ is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ for the salvation of men's souls, that Jesus Christ gave Himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father. We have no other message; we have no other gospel that we preach.

The gospel of Christ is not "Be excellent to each other."

The gospel of Christ is not "Vote Republican."

The gospel of Christ is not "Peace at all costs."

The gospel of Christ is not "End abortion and homosexuality."

The gospel of Jesus Christ is that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Jesus Christ the iniquity of us all. He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring us to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

That is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and if I should ever preach any other gospel - trying to seek the approval of men or trying to please women - then let me be eternally condemned. I would rather be banished by men than to functionally deny my Christ. Shut up about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost? Never.

The most disturbing thing in this is that nobody seems to see the irony of someone authoritatively asserting that one cannot make authoritative assertions.

Think about that for a second.

I can not assert the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit but you can assert that all faiths are essentially the same thing? I am not a Unitarian Universalist and I will never preach a Unitarian Universalist message - I am a Christian, and come what may I will be identified with Jesus Christ, my source of authority, the only true authority. Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Jesus commands all Christians to "make disciples of all nations" - not to comfort people in their sins. We who are called by the name of Christ are to be a hospital for the sin-sick soul, healing them of that which ails them, but too many people are about the business of making people comfortable in their sin-sickness until that which ails them ultimately kills them. That's not a hospital, that's a hospice.

Some may prefer to seek the approval of men, but I listen to the Word of God. Jesus said, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are One." I am a bond-servant of Christ and I will never be snatched from the hand of the Good Shepherd.

Baaaaaaaaaaaah!

May the LORD bless you and keep you;
May the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
And may the LORD,
Who wants you to accept the gospel of Christ,
May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

STOP! THIEF!!!

Yeah..i stole this from BluButta. Of course SHE stole it from someone else...so...it aint like it was HERS.


I am not:
a punk. People often confuse the fact that I find violence as a problem-solving tactic rather immature with the fact that I can..and will whoop ass if i find the situation calls for it. The situation rarely calls for it when you are an adult.

I hurt:
Her today. I have been making progress on my road to recovery, but today was a step backwards. A Big step backwards. mind you all steps backwards are big ones. We will recover. I hope.

I think:
I am just this side of really catching fire with my writing again. I am comfortable in the Palace and things are starting to come together now that my little tantrum is over.

I hate:
stupidity. I hate the fact that politics is so much like sports, in that people root for TEAMS and COLORS...like we aren't all playing on the same team. ok..you right, we AREN'T playing on the same team.

I cry:
more than most men but less than some women these days. When did women start pounding they chest like it's illegal to cry in public?

I care:
about my sons' perception of their daddy. I keep telling myself that I can make up these years I am missing when they are older, and that this is all for the best, that a healthy daddy from 1200 miles is better than a mentally inferior daddy from 12 miles away.

I feel alone:
less than at any time in my lifetime.

I listen:
to the voices in my head. Luckily for me, they are pretty bright.

I hide:
behind the lack of anonymity of my blog. That is a sorry excuse.

I drive:
FW crazy with the fact that I do not have a car of my own. That will finally change soon.


I sing:
the body electric?

I dance:
like a man who just learned how to dance recently and wants to show the whole world he doesn't suck as a dancer.

I write:
far, far, far, far less than I should.

I miss:
my babies.

I say:
Can't ONE of you folk Pick football games better than me.

I feel:
like this was not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be.

I dream:
In color. so real that I think it IS real. Until I wake up.

I sleep:
like a rock. Nothing will wake me up until my body decides it is time to get up.

I wonder:
if I am progressing as a writer. I am afraid I am not.

I want:
to sit in my new house in front of my bigscreen tv and slurp down gourmet sodas and watch PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL.

I worry:
about EVERYTHING. That ain't sexy.

I give:
myself too much credit. I need to be harder on myself and push myself more.

I fight:
a generational curse that seems to plague my entire family.

I wait:
tables better than just about anyone.

I stay:
in a constant state of worry about EVERYTHING. I sit around thinking of what is sure to go wrong.

I am:
Sick of this meme...Serves me right for stealing it.


BluButta's is much better than mine.

The Nocturnal Muse

The Nocturnal Muse
by David Parrish, Jr.


Once upon a time she was like clockwork
The sun would set, night would fall
the moon would rise, my family would recede
and all that remained were she and me

She bore no particular DNA
She had no shape form or mass
she didnt carry a name, or even a persona
She was just....an essence


She rose in my psyche each night
like a rooster sent to herald the sunrise
(yes, she like a rooster...now stop quibbling and keep up)
her arrival compartmentalizes the stresses and strains of life as I know it
and either focuses them for exploration
or files them for shelter

I am at my most insightful when she is here
I am powerless without her
Whatever linguistic immortality I aspire to is mere cleverness
in her absence

The days when I could set my watch to her arrival are long gone
now she is as tempermental as a summer rain in Texas
visible on the radar, but never in your vicinity
bringing the nectar of photosynthesis to all but you, it seems

But every once in a great while
once in a blue moon
I will sit and sense her arrival in the still of the night
egging me and urging me on to the greatness I believe possible

And as quickly as she arrived, she is just as gone
maybe for a day
maybe forever
whatever the case she was here

My Nocturnal Muse
bearing the gift of poetry
given to a man blessed with the gift of a poetic mind
cursed with the spirit of a tactician

She liberated me from my own limitations years ago
and now
even in my dark hours
she returned to spark some corners of my mind and to bring clarity to others

----
and now having sparked the corner of poetry and prose
off she goes
The Nocturnal Muse has struck again
let all the earth keep silent.


fin.

The Thursday MindPurge

I am here.


The DSL is on, the wireless network is active, the Dish is dishing...the Palace is slowly rounding in to Photo-Ready Shape.

But...


I got issues.

I am lacking in words to adequately express just how screwed up things are for me right now.


Things have been bad before and I guess I survived it because I am still here. But they seem worse than ever before. Maybe that is because I didn't OWN a house before.